Where the heck is the quote board?

I was reminded today of one reason I enjoyed living alone. I spent the whole day – excluding answering the door for the pizza delivery guy – lounging around in my underwear. Jeff’s spending the day and night in San Francisco and I’m heading out later with a friend so I allowed myself the pleasure. I figured now was as good a time as any to share some of my recent open-mouth-and-insert-foot comments. I’ll leave the context out just to mess with your heads.

How far good are we on toilet paper?

Yeah. OTAY.

Teen newborn throws mom in trash.

Dammit! I must have been sleep-laundrying again.

I’m going to be cracking walnuts with these thighs.

You’ve been desperate for a guy for quite awhile.

Bajiggitiness. Are you sure that’s not a real word?